5 Habits

By Nicki Koziarz (2016)

There are some great quotes in this book…

Anytime we something that has the potential for opposition, it is always a time for God to reveal himself. (Pg 11)

Pg 12

When we walk through difficult situations, our natural instinct is to flee to the familiar.

Pg. 13

Victory is often found in the most unfamiliar and uncomfortable places

As I started reading this book, I was on the treadmill. The author starts with a story about her husband getting ready to do a fundraiser for an African missions trip.. (Hey!! I want to go to Africa!!) She shared that he accused her of not being someone he could rely on, because she was busy with Mom stuff on Sat., and didn’t tell him she would help. Of course, I was quite smug when I read this, I tend to keep my commitments, and follow through when I say I will do something. And then, guess what happened? Here I am, trying to get my steps in so I can go make this gourmet dinner for Craig, and he happily comes in, gives me a kiss (which can be quite dangerous while on the tradmill), and asks if I am ready to go get the tractor…..

huh? It is raining outside….it is 6 pm…. I had a crappy day…. instead of saying any of that, I smiled and said SURE!! LETS GO!

I am thankful that I had picked this book up, when I did…. wonder what other gems I will find hidden in the pages?



Things will happen

I thought of you when I read this quote from “The Power of Positive Leadership: How and Why Positive Leaders Transform Teams and Organizations and Change the World” by Jon Gordon –

“As a leader you must remember that events are going to happen. Challenges are going to come your way. Your job is not to get stuck in the mud. Don’t sink to a lower level. Keep your head up. Look for the opportunity and the good that is coming your way.”

Start reading this book for free: http://a.co/76uMiUs

Same story

Funny, some days, it seems that you keep seeing the same story. This is when you know that God is speaking to you.

The next step is to understand what HE wants you to do with it.

On a personal level, it is kind of simple. I say kind of, because it is evident, but doing it isn’t always easy. Controlling your thoughts, moods, and tongue, is a difficult task.

On a professional level, it is even harder. People are sometimes a bit more reserved in what they say around me. But even adults, are unkind to each other, dwell and the negative, form cliques, and are just mean.

We can invoke blessings in the land we live. I am claiming Valley Life, my house, and my family, as the land God has given me and am going to claim blessings, and victory by God. That He will also hide the previous problems from our hearts….

I know this won’t be easy, strongholds need to be broken. Previous issues need to be dealt with. I will need strength, and can only do this if God goes before us.

began taking “thank you” walks to practice gratitude, enjoy the outdoors, and feel grateful instead of stressed. This was a life-changing practice that not only energized me physically, emotionally, and spiritually, but also provided time for many profound insights and ideas to come to me.

(Gordon, J)

Anxious for nothing


I am starting the Proverbs 31, Anxious for nothing, study, based on Max Lucado’s book, with the same title. Todays scripture focus is one of my favorites, for so many reasons…

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:4‭-‬9 NIV

vs. 4 tells us to Rejoice, always…


Results from the attitude test…..

Aspect of Attitude


1 = Strongly Disagree5 = Strongly Agree



I always take a positive view of any situation I am in.



I consistently check myself to ensure I am focusing on the positive aspects of life.



I rigorously monitor input from media and other people to ensure it is positive.


Thoughts subtotal =


Aspect of Attitude


1 = Strongly Disagree5 = Strongly Agree



I use positive words, regardless of how I feel, in conversations with others and with myself.



I never use phrases like: “I can’t,” “only if,” “I don’t have time,” “I doubt it” or “it’s impossible.”



I expect the best in people and situations when I ask questions.


Words subtotal =


Aspect of Attitude


1 = Strongly Disagree5 = Strongly Agree



When I have a need, I consistently help others meet their needs first.



I look for things for which I am grateful, even during times of adversity.



I have close, trusted relationships with people who help me be my best, even if they have to give me constructive feedback.


Action subtotal =


Total Orchestrating Attitude Score =


Background and Results

There are three aspects of attitude that work in concert:  thoughts, words and actions.  By orchestrating each aspect with conscious responses, we positively influence our beliefs, commitments and results.

Orchestrate your …  

to positively influence …

Thoughts Beliefs
Words Commitments
Actions Results

The script plays out like this:

  • Thoughts, the way we choose to interpret our world, directly influence our beliefs.

  • Beliefs directly influence the words we choose to speak to others, and more importantly, to ourselves.

  • Words reflect our commitments to ourselves and others.

  • Commitments influence our choice of actions.

  • Finally, our actions directly influence the results we achieve.

This script is self-reinforcing, for better or for worse.  The results we achieve reinforce our thoughts and the same script is played out again.  So, it all starts with our thoughts.  Our thoughts today influence our results tomorrow.

The left side of the script is the side of choice.  Each of us chooses our thoughts, words and actions either consciously or subconsciously.  Therefore, we influence the right side of the script – the side of responsibility.  We must take responsibility for our beliefs, commitments and results.  We are each responsible for the choices we make and the results we ultimately achieve.  The ultimate choice is ours – victim or victor?

Orchestrating attitude creates a beautiful human symphony.  The result is a person of integrity who gets the best from himself and others.

Here is how to interpret your total Orchestrating Attitude score: 

  • 40 – 45 – You are doing a masterful job of orchestrating your attitude!  As a result, you are likely getting the best from yourself and others.  Keep focused and keep learning about yourself (and others).  Read or re-read Orchestrating Attitude to see if you can improve, even just a little bit, in one of the three aspects of attitude. Remember to apply the two powerful, yet underutilized strategies for controlling your mental input:  read/listen to books and practice visualization.

  • 32 – 39 –  You are doing a good job of orchestrating attitude, but you also have lots of potential for positive impact that is going untapped.  Focus on the aspect of attitude on which you scored lowest (thoughts, words or actions).   Check out Orchestrating Attitude for simple “instruments” to practice this aspect of attitude.

  • Below 32 –  Start today to create a better tomorrow for yourself.  The journey starts with YOU.  Begin by checking your focus.  Do you tend to look at the negative side of situations?  If you find yourself having a negative thought, say “STOP!” out loudand replace it with a positive thought.  Saying “STOP!” out loud is important so that you can actually hear yourself controlling your own thinking.

    Think the best ALL the time.  What’s the harm?  If you choose to protect yourself from disappointment by always thinking the worst, you have also chosen disappointment as the filter through which you view all things and people…and that’s just what you will get.  On the other hand, you can choose to think the best all the time.  Sure, you might be disappointed occasionally but, most of the time, you will be programming your mind and others to achieve their best!

The Power of One

Getting the best from yourself and others all starts with…

             One Thought
                                    One Word
                                                        One Action.

“One” is the first note in orchestrating your attitude.  Contrary to the lyrics from a classic rock song, one is not the loneliest number.  It’s the most important one!

Many people used to feel that one vote in an election couldn’t really make a difference.  Well, recent Presidential elections that have been decided by razor thin margins have proven them wrong.  A single act does make a difference… it creates a ripple effect that can be felt many miles and people away.

Consider the story of a young girl named Grace who was on vacation with her family in Marco Island, Florida.  She was playing along the beach looking for seashells when she noticed many, many starfish washed up onto the beach.  She quickly started to pick them up carefully walk them out past the breaking waves and placed them gingerly back into the Gulf of Mexico.  On her second trip back to the beach her father asked, “Hey Grace, what are you doing over there?”  She replied, “Dad, I am trying to save all of the starfish”.   Her dad chuckled as he tried not to spoil his daughter’s innocence, “That’s very nice sweetie, but you will never save all of them.  You won’t really make a difference.”  As Grace gently placed another starfish back into the water, she responded without missing a beat, “Dad, I just made a difference to that one!”  Her dad chuckled again, realizing this time that Grace’s naiveté was really wisdom. 

One small act does make a difference.  Your thoughts, words and actions are like individual notes that work in concert to create the power of one person – YOU – to make a difference.  You can harness your power of one if you simply:

  • Catch one negative thought and turn it into a positive one,

  • Think of one thing for which you are grateful at the beginning
    of each day,

  • Say one “Fantastic!” when a friend asks how you are doing,

  • Assume the best in one upcoming situation,

  • Keep on moving when you experience adversity,

  • Help a friend or colleague during a time when you need help.

For practical tips and real-life inspiration that will help you get the best from yourself and others, check out the book, Orchestrating Attitude and its companion resources.

If you would like help in reinforcing the Orchestrating Attitude message with your team, please contact 

My prayer

Dear Lord, Please help me to be unveiled before You and before my husband. I am becoming more aware of the need to make myself fully known to You and to my husband. As I remain unveiled, please transform me and help me embrace Your role for me as a wife. Thank You so much for caring about me in such great ways. I love You, God! I am so thankful that You sent Your Son so I could be set free! I pray that I am an unveiled wife, a wife who continually seeks after You! I pray that I would be transparent in my relationship with my husband, that I would be willing to share my whole heart, without holding anything back. Please fill me with Your courage and Your truth. The enemy is so good at infusing my heart with lies, convincing me to hide, convincing me to remain isolated and broken, convincing me that I am not good enough to radiate Christ. I claim freedom. May Your Holy Spirit write Your truth on my heart so much that there would be no room for any lies. May Your precious will be done in me and through me. In Jesus’ name, AMEN!

Wife After God…Day 28

I have to keep coming back…..

C ommunicating through :

  • honest conversations 
  • Initiate sexual intimacy 
  • Confess sins 
  • Pray together 
  • Go on date nights 
  • Pursue each other passionately 
  • Talk about goals and dreams 
  • Serve each other 
  • Bless each other

So, why do these things scare me so much?  Because there is a good chance I would be the only one working on it.  Or, maybe I am selfish enough, that I don’t want to hear his goals and dreams, because I may have to give something up, they may conflict with mine.   Or, I will have to listen to why it is my fault that they haven’t been reached.  Or, just knowing there isn’t often follow through.  It would be honest to communicate this, but he gets hurt feelings, and everything shuts down. 

Father, I don’t know how to communicate with my husband.  Teach me how to speak the truth in love.  With Craig and everyone that I come in contact with.  

B uilding a healthy , joyful, God-centered marriage where intimacy thrives is attainable, but it takes time and energy. It builds up over time as trust, confidence and faithfulness are produced. You are responsible to fulfill your part and your husband is responsible for his. Your marriage will reach this fulfillment when both of you are working together toward oneness. However, God calls you to remain steadfast in doing your part. Do it regardless of whether your husband is doing his. Let love motivate you and fuel your heart to persevere. Your marriage is worth it, it will always be worth it. Dear Lord, I lift up my marriage to You in thankfulness. You know every detail of my marriage, what my husband and I have been through, and where we are currently. May You help us to increase our intimacy. I desire to know my husband deeply, but I also know that requires that I am vulnerable and honest with him. Please give me the courage to open up to my husband, to talk about important matters of the heart, to share each other’s goals, and to encourage each other in great ways. I pray that I can be a wife willing to initiate sexually, willing to serve joyfully, and willing to love extravagantly. May Your Holy Spirit ignite a fire in our marriage, a desire to draw close to one another and to become familiar with each other. I pray that You would soften my husband’s heart toward me. Bless him with a desire to get to know me more. I pray against the enemy from stealing moments of intimacy, distracting us with selfish desires and tempting us away from experiencing true intimacy. May our love story and our intimacy reveal Your power so that others may be encouraged. In Jesus’ name, AMEN! C hallenge : From the list mentioned in this chapter, choose one way to initiate intimacy in your marriage today. For more ways to initiate intimacy in marriage please visit: unveiledwife.com/intimacy S tatus Update : “@unveiledwife I commit to initiating true intimacy

From Wife After God