I have littles at the moment. They are sweetly sleeping in the “boat room”. (As I write this, Roxi, the littlest of the littles that live with me, just jumped up on my lap for some sweet, quiet, cuddle time, with no tiny hands wanting to touch her cold wet nose…). These 3 warm my heart, make me smile, and can trash a room in under 2 minutes.

I have wondered what life would be like, raising children with Craig. Would it had been different, (read, better) than when I was married to my kids dad? Or even when I was a single mom, doing it alone? The few glimpses I get, tell me no. Of course Craig is off doing his thing, (working) which is noble, compared to Ray going off and doing his thing, (pool/gambling/bar). Maybe I would have had the opportunity to be a stay at home mom…. maybe then I wouldn’t be hurt at Craig either being gone, or unavailable…. my frame of reference comes from my own pain, my own past….

So, where does my conviction come from? I don’t pray for their mommy, daddy, or aunts and uncles as often as I should. If it is lonely, with these littles, who are active and full of love…. how is it daily?

Thank you Father, for Clarissa and Kyle. Thank you for developing our relationship in a way that they trust me, even when I am alone, with these little treasures. Please give them some special time together. Protect their marriage. Protect mine.


Discerning the voice of God

By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.
John 5:30 NIV

Priscilla Shirer asks an important question in today’s devotional…

In what ways, if any, have you been concerned about “losing yourself” if you surrender completely to God”?

I fear pain and heart ache. Though I see how Amazingly God has brought me through trials in the past, brought on by either his will, or more frequently, my disobedience, walking through valleys can be scary. Life can be scary. Life is scary. I think we will have those trials, pains, stressors, if we are walking with God or not. Having someone bigger than everything else, helps.

Random musings

I don’t want people to be afraid of me. I want people to respect me. I desire to be like. As I thought about this I was thinking about Jesus and did people fear Jesus and I think in some parts of the Bible they did. When Jesus sent the demons into the pigs the people of that land asked him to leave because they were afraid of him. When Jesus walked on water people were afraid of him. But in both of those instances he loved still, and he was misunderstood which is why the people feared him. I think that I am the kind of leader that is understanding. I listen . I seriously seek to understand. I desire everyone to be able to do their best, live to their full potential.

I may not be one of the best communicators but I do love people and I desire that everything I do Point them towards God even the difficult things.

I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. I will glory in the Lord ; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord , and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Fear the Lord , you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord . Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry; but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to blot out their name from the earth. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken. Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned. The Lord will rescue his servants; no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.
Psalm 34:1‭-‬22 NIV

5 Habits

By Nicki Koziarz (2016)

There are some great quotes in this book…

Anytime we something that has the potential for opposition, it is always a time for God to reveal himself. (Pg 11)

Pg 12

When we walk through difficult situations, our natural instinct is to flee to the familiar.

Pg. 13

Victory is often found in the most unfamiliar and uncomfortable places

As I started reading this book, I was on the treadmill. The author starts with a story about her husband getting ready to do a fundraiser for an African missions trip.. (Hey!! I want to go to Africa!!) She shared that he accused her of not being someone he could rely on, because she was busy with Mom stuff on Sat., and didn’t tell him she would help. Of course, I was quite smug when I read this, I tend to keep my commitments, and follow through when I say I will do something. And then, guess what happened? Here I am, trying to get my steps in so I can go make this gourmet dinner for Craig, and he happily comes in, gives me a kiss (which can be quite dangerous while on the tradmill), and asks if I am ready to go get the tractor…..

huh? It is raining outside….it is 6 pm…. I had a crappy day…. instead of saying any of that, I smiled and said SURE!! LETS GO!

I am thankful that I had picked this book up, when I did…. wonder what other gems I will find hidden in the pages?



Like Matthew, the Book of James was intended for a Jewish audience, as seen in verse 1. James is Jesus’ half-brother. He had initially rejected Jesus (Mark 3:31-35), but probably trusted him after his resurrection (Acts 15:13). James was one of, if not the first book of the New Testament written. James is giving very practical advice for how people’s lives should match what they believe about Jesus. Having grown up in the same house as Jesus, he would have lots of insight into what faith looks like in everyday life.

Just as Jesus had been arrested and crucified, so the Jews who had trusted Jesus were also being persecuted. Understandably, they couldn’t figure out why God was letting this happen. James puts a strange twist on difficulties by saying we should find joy in them, because they make us strong. The best test of our faith comes in the bad times, not the good. Jesus had taught that it was hard for rich people to get to heaven, so James also sees poor people as being the ones with all the advantages. They can be stronger in this life due to their struggles and be more likely to have eternal life. It’s not that God causes our suffering, but he does use it to make us stronger.

James tells us it’s not enough to read the Bible; we need to put it into practice. There aren’t too many people who are joyful in suffering or like being poor, so there aren’t very many who seem to have put this chapter into practice. However, many have grown stronger in their faith in difficult times. The joy probably comes more after the trial has passed and the faith has been strengthened, but with faith, we can believe the trial is for our benefit even in the midst of it. (Daily New Testament , quarter 1)

What if….some of the hard things God calls us to do, is really to strengthen someone else’s relationship with him?